“O God, put away from us all hurtful things…”

(collect of the day)

Because of COVID 19, Anita canceled her wedding…. Jack missed his daughter’s graduation… Albert and Anna did not have funeral services for their mother…Our diocese rescheduled the synod…Our parish rescheduled Miles baptism over and over…Frederick county canceled the fair….and the list goes on.

This public health crisis is disrupting millions of once-in-a-lifetime events around the world. From college graduations to bar mitzvahs and even funerals, the loss of human experience is unfathomable, and raises deep psychological questions. How will the loss of these milestone moments impact us? And how can we mourn them?

These questions don’t really have an answer, not yet, anyways. This situation is unprecedented and there is no social science research looking at the effects of millions of canceled birthdays or weddings on a population level. And as with most things, the impact will depend on an individual’s circumstances and personal resilience. But just because science can’t measure it doesn’t mean the loss isn’t there. Missing out on these types of once-in-a-lifetime experiences can have a negative psychological impact. Right now, many people are anxious or scared, and being sad about missing out on an important event can exacerbate those feelings. But when life returns to normal (whatever that means), those feelings will most likely disappear, especially for those who have resources to cope with the disappointment, such as the support of family, friends and group support. It may be a long time before researchers quantify the loss of human experience that this crisis has wrought, and even then, it will be an imperfect measure. But in the meantime, there may be ways to turn this pandemic into an opportunity to make meaningful memories that can soften the blow of those missed milestones. That is why we pray God to “give us those things which be profitable for us through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen”.